Unwholesome Foods

Here at Unwholesome Foods, we’re not just about making people queasy.  We actually spend a lot of time cooking things you might actually want to eat.  But even our more wholesome concoctions can get a little unusual.

Last year for Beth’s 27th birthday, Alex made her an ice cream cake.  The cake was a 3x3x3 cube made from 9 blocks each of toasted almond ice cream, chocolate peanut butter ice cream, and Vietnamese coffee ice cream (recipes from The Perfect Scoop: Ice Creams, Sorbets, Granitas, and Sweet Accompaniments).  It turns out those flavors all melt at different rates, so if you decide to make such a thing, serve it right after you take it out of the freezer.

Also, there were rainbow-dinosaur mini-cakes.

Juicy, tender, boneless – and what a lovely color! What is this delightful comestible?

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When our friend Jennifer wrote a novel about the teriyaki of the damned, we had to try our own hand at making goth teryaki.  Before we get to the recipe (which may actually our most sane creation so far), we’d like to talk a little about the book.

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Recently, we were baking pie.  We wanted to do a side-by-side comparison of butter crust and oil crust.

The oil crust was very flaky, but there was something odd about it.  The oil we’d used was kind of old.  It wasn’t exactly rancid, but it was not exactly fresh either.

The pie had an aftertaste just like movie theater popcorn.

Which led us to conclude that the secret for making really great movie theater popcorn at home is to use really old oil.

You’re welcome!

(We didn’t have a picture of the pie, so we gave you a picture of some dim sum buns with cheese and pepperoni.  The cheese is pepperoni-jack.)

Despite what you may think, we at Unwholesome Foods actually have a number of friends who enjoy our company.  They invite us to their parties, and they show up at our parties.  Sometimes they inspire us to create terrifying new things, and sometimes they make a few of their own.

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Our second entry to the Fluff Festival cooking competition had the same basic conceit as the Cheese Fluffs: A wacky variation on the rice krispy treat.  However, this recipe had a few bugs in it (not literally!) that weren’t worked out until after the festival.  Maybe we’ll try it again next year and apply our learned experience.

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We’re winners!

We fine folks at Unwholesome Foods are fortunate enough to live only a short bike-ride away from Union Square, Somerville, the birthplace of Marshmallow Fluff.  This year was the sixth annual Fluff Festival, and we brought home one of the trophies from the cooking contest.  Our recipe for Cheese Fluffs won Most Creative.

It looked like steep competition for a while, with foods like Fluffalo Wings also on the contest table.  But in the end, our unique twist on rice krispy treats made with Cheetos won the day.

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Here at Unwholesome Foods, we’re not just about desserts, poultry, and poultry desserts!  We like to moisten our palates with unwholesome beverages, too. Continue reading →

Back at the beginning of April, our household was excited to find that Whole Foods Market had expanded its creativity in food offerings.  Their webpage featured all sorts of exciting new products, and links to great looking recipes.  We were very sad to discover that the recipes did not exist and were only part of an outrageous prank.

Undaunted, we set out to bring one of these recipes to reality: Chicken Cheesecake.

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One day, Kristen was making one of the most wholesome of foods: American apple pie!  But our kitchen is no longer such a wholesome place since we started this blog, and soon a strange creature appeared to de-wholesome-ify her efforts, sent to us from the fine folks at Vat19.

American Pie with Gummy Worm

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