When our friend Jennifer wrote a novel about the teriyaki of the damned, we had to try our own hand at making goth teryaki.  Before we get to the recipe (which may actually our most sane creation so far), we’d like to talk a little about the book.

Terroryaki! (3-Day Novel) was writen for the International 3-Day Novel Contest, which is an awesome even that you should check out.  The book is about two sisters and their trials and tribulations dealing with family, relationships, and cursed teriyaki.

The best part of this book is the descriptions of food — do not read this book while hungry.  There are mouthwatering descriptions of more varieties of teriyaki than you can shake a chopstick at, as well as tantalizing passages about warm chewy cookies and exotic (but wholesome) flavors of ice cream.  This blog may need to steal some recipe ideas from the Puyallup Fair foods described on page 70.  With a name like Corn-nado, how can you go wrong?

Terroryaki! is the kind of story you would get if you turned kettle corn into a book.  It’s light but addictive, full of sweetness and savor.  You’ll find Terroryaki! gone before you know it, and you’ll be hungry for more.

You can buy Terroryaki! (3-Day Novel) here.  For those readers in the Cambridge/Boston MA area, you can meet the author and hear a reading this Friday at 7 pm with the MIT Science Fiction Society.  Details here.

Now on to our food!

Beth and Special-Guest-Chef Anne started by steaming some jet black Forbidden Rice.  We weren’t quite sure what kind of meat the meat-of-the-damned should be, so we decided to take our cue from the band Cake and their song “Sheep Go to Heaven,” which says that goats go to hell.  We’re fortunate enough to live near several markets which sell goat, so we bought a two pound bag of goat parts.

Now, goats are tough, bony creatures, and any sensible person is going to slow-cook their meat on the bone in a stew or curry.  Instead, we got out the cutting board and a nice big knife and cut off as many meaty strips as we could for our teriyaki, and we saved the bones for sensible stewing later.  

As Terroryaki! demonstrates, there are many ways to make a teriyaki sauce.  We used Anne’s personal standard balance of soy sauce, mirin, and sugar.  We also minced some garlic, grated some candied ginger, and added those to the sauce.  Then we put the meat in the sauce to marinate.

Teriyaki is generally grilled or broiled after marinating, but we decided the goat could use some extra time in the heat.  So, we boiled the goat in the sauce while the sauce was reducing.  We whipped up some steamed vegetables for an accompaniment, and made ourselves bowls of the gothest teriyaki you’ve ever seen.  Even with using the flash on the camera, light could hardly escape our dinner.


Beth:  I like it, but I think the flavor of the goat overpowers the teriyaki.  Forbidden rice is also hard to eat since it’s not very sticky.

Anne:  The goat definitely has a strong flavor, but I think the teriyaki comes through pretty well.  It’s good.

Sean:  You guys are right, goat is like concentrated lamb.

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