Raw Pie

Raw foodies claim that heating food will denature proteins, reduce the food’s inner nutritional value and destroy precious micronutrients. Raw foodies know that the energy of a food cannot be solely defined using such limited fields of human endeavor as physics and chemistry. Therefore, in honor of Pi Day last week (3/14), we present this recipe for raw pie.

Raw pie slice

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Fried-Rice Krispy Treats

meat can be a tasty treat like pork or human beings

Because why should breakfast cereal have all the fun?  Doesn’t dinner deserve marshmallows, too?

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Ice Cream of Mushroom Soup

Ice cream-of-mushroom sundae

It’s hard not to enjoy a rich, satisfying bowl of nice hot cream of mushroom soup.  But if cold tomatoes are delicious in gazpacho, can cold mushroom soup be delicious, too?

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Broccoli Meringue Pie with Beet Filling

One might naively assume that beets and broccoli could only be baked in a savory pie, but here we present a dessert pie with a beet filling and broccoli meringue. Unsavory indeed.

Piece of Pie

Beet pie with broccoli meringue

You might notice that the meringue is somewhat burnt. We at Unwholesome Foods strive to bring you food that is actually edible, and it’s no fault of the recipe that this pie was burnt. It was all us. We are posting this entry anyway, though, because we found some amusement in what we have been calling the “Star Wars Christmas Special” of our blog.

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Strawberry Pop Tarte

Pop Tarts: A source of wholesome childhood memories and unwholesome artificial colors.  They aren’t just for breakfast anymore!  We at Unwholesome Foods have melded them with strawberry soda to create an elegant dessert.

Strawberry Pop Tarte

Meet our ingredients:


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Roast Beast

Four-legged chicken

What’s wrong with this picture? Here’s a subtle prank to pull on your dinner guests: serve them a four-legged chicken and wait until someone says, “Umm….” Sometimes it takes people a while.

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Cough Syrup Sundae

This ice cream recipe is for anyone who loves their cocktails so sickeningly sweet that their friends say “Gah, it tastes just like cough syrup!” because this ice cream actually does taste just like cough syrup.

A note about dosage: This recipe uses 180 mL of cough syrup to produce about 1 L of ice cream. The adult dose is 2 tsp (10 mL) every 4 hours, so one adult dose is 1/18th of the ice cream produced. The dose is on the order of a scoop of ice cream, but if you want to be precise, we suggest you don’t take your medicine by ice cream.

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Pond Scum

Have you ever sat down with a warm cup of jasmine green tea on a rainy evening and thought, “If only there were something I could do to make this drink less wholesome…”?

We would like to share a general method of turning a drink into pond scum, which works especially well with green tea but can also be used with tea-colored cocktails.

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There is nothing like serving deviled eggs as hors d’oeuvres at a cocktail party. It always bothered us that they were called “deviled”, though. It sounds like they should be evil somehow, and yet, they are so wholesome and delicious! Well, we decided it was high time to make our very own unwholesome version. Deviled egg, indeed!


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The turDunkin’ is a turkey brined in Dunkin’ Donuts coolattas, stuffed with munchkins and served with coffee gravy and mashed hash browns. The turDunkin’ should not be confused with the hot meaty mess that is a turducken, which is a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken.


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